BEER REVIEW: 390

BREWER: Warsteiner Brauerei, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany

STYLE: Pilsener

ABV: 4.8%

VESSEL: 33cl brown bottle

DATE OF POST: 28th March 2025

 

SAMMY SAY’S…

Picture this: You’re at a dinner party in 1976. The fondue pot is bubbling, a prawn cocktail is being served in a martini glass, and ABBA is playing softly in the background. You reach for a beer—Warsteiner, in this case—only to find that, much like the aspic-covered dish on the table, it’s just… fine.

Much like the lingering scent of Brut cologne in the air, the aroma is unmistakably of its time—sweet, stale, and exactly what you’d expect from a standard lager. Nothing offensive, but nothing particularly inviting either.

In the drinking, it’s pilsner that does the job without any flair. The malts provide some depth, but they’re restrained, never quite stepping into the spotlight. A touch of sweetness emerges as you work through it, like the unexpected syrupy edge of a pineapple upside-down cake.

Like a polite conversation about Tupperware or the pros and cons of shag carpeting, Warsteiner goes down easy enough. You might not struggle to get through it, but you’re not exactly excited either.

The packaging is dated and uninspired, like the wood-panelled basement bar it could well have come from. There’s an old-school charm here, but not necessarily in a good way. Feels a little too rigid—like it takes itself too seriously.

Warsteiner is the beer equivalent of a 1970s dinner party staple—dependable but uninspiring. It won’t ruin your night, but it won’t be the highlight either. You’d drink it if it was handed to you, just as you’d politely eat a slice of gelatin-encased mystery meat, but you probably wouldn’t seek it out again.

Sammy’s Rating: 52%

 

JYMI SAY’S…

Yes, Warsteiner Brauerei has been an independent family run business for a long ol’ time now.

But because of this do not be fooled into thinking that this is a small operation, because it’s not, it’s a flippin HUGE operation!

So we’re in quite an odd place here. Neither macro nor fairly small level craft. Let’s see how she goes…

Now, I was fairly intrigued by this brew, mainly because of other reviews of it that I had seen online. Folks using some new super tech called VIDEO unlike Sammy n I still opting for old skool prose. Now from what I could gather from seeing these other reviews (which is what prompted me to buy this beer for us incidentally) was that of all the easy to get hold of bottled lagers out there, this was kinda number one.

And while this is a perfectly drinkable brew, it ain’t all that I’m afraid. Slightly sweet, slightly woody and slightly spicy, you can certainly tell that this is a continental pils. But it doesn’t really stand out. It’s just sort of… there.

If you’re looking for an average nice enough fairly easy drinking brew then yeah, Warsteiner won’t disappoint. But if you’re after something a bit more interesting with a twist here and a turn there, then I probably wouldn’t bother with this.

Jymi’s Rating: 56%

 

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 54%

MOB review next weekend: EAST MOLESEY PALE by MIDDLE CHILD

Sammy & Jymi – Musing on Booze weekly since 2017

Bluesky: @museonbooze.bsky.social

Instagram: muse.on.booze

museonbooze.com