BREWER: Stella Artois, Flemish Brabant
VESSEL: 284ml bottle
TWITTER: @StellaArtois @StellaArtoisUK
Phillip – Phillip is due over at a friend’s house for a BBQ at 1pm. He arose at 6am because he’s an efficient kind of guy and likes things be in order so his day can progress without any bumps. However, as Phil’s morning progressed he simply didn’t bother to go to the liquor store because he was sure either his friend or at least other guests would bring beer to the BBQ.
Joanna – Joanna loves wine, like, REALLY loves wine. But she also likes to put soda with said wine so it 1. goes further and 2. Doesn’t get her so drunk that she falls into her friends fish pond at the BBQ she is set to attend at 1pm.
Alan – Alan loves Fosters, like, REALLY loves Fosters. He loves a Fosters top even more but they don’t do that in a can… yet. Alan likes Fosters so much that he left his house at 10am just to make sure he could get down the supermarket to load up properly for the Barbie at his mate’s house at 1 o’clock.
Ricky – Ricky is a beer kind of guy. Ricky is on the way to a Barbecue at a chum’s house. Ricky has 32 pre chilled bottles of Stella 284 in the boot of his car. Ricky knows what the score is. Ricky is a flamin’ good guy. Be like Ricky.
Look, each to their own of course but there is just a time and a place for some brews.
Stella 284 was made for situations like a sunny Saturday barbie pure and simple and I doubt the producers even realised it. A can of Stella is pleasant enough yes. A 330 bottle is also ok as long as it’s cold. But a 284 chilled to perfection in the right setting is nothing short of brilliant.
Is it the best beer ever? Most certainly not…
..but right time, right place, right temperature, right company, right millilitreage…you’ll do well to beat it.
Jymi’s Rating: 66%
Let’s cut straight to the chase, this is a mass produced, incredibly commercial lager. There are many things that one could say to pull the rug from under Stella Artois. And you could almost argue it’s a little embarrassing that it proudly states that it’s from Belgium considering the endless nuanced beers that can be found in the land of our Flemish cousins. It doesn’t pack anywhere near an outstanding flavour, although it’s pleasant enough. There is no subtly here.
So, one may ask, why review this beer?
Well, it’s quite simple. What our friend Stella has done, is bottle their brew up in a 284ml (half pint to the old timers out there) bottle. This has several advantages:
- You can drain the bottle and the beer remains cold, therefore avoiding any unpleasant flavours building due to the warming of the beer
- The beverage remains incredibly fresh throughout drinking
- You can drink this form of Stella Artois on any occasion at any time during the year
- It’s easy to pack these little ‘uns into any chilling equipment to hand……Now, I want to make it explicitly clear that Stella Artois in any other container on the market would not score anywhere near as well as this. But this is a clever marketing move (enough said).
Sammy’s Rating: 72 %
MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 69%
MOB review next weekend: CHIMERA by DRYGATE BREWING COMPANY