BREWER: Brasserie Parisis, Ile de France, France
STYLE: Pale Ale
VESSEL: 33cl brown bottle
DATE OF POST: 20th June 2020
Let me paint you a picture. You’re on holiday in France. The sun is blazing down. You’ve had a cracking day by the pool; time well spent with the family. You’ve kept the little ‘uns entertained and have worked up a sizeable dab-on in the process. You’re a bit sun kissed, a little weary (in a good holiday way) and you’re thirsty. It’s reached that time in the day: beer time. So, you reach for a local brew. You might be expecting a traditional French beer…
However, things aren’t quite what you’d expect…
To start with, Parisis Smash is strangely packaged. It’s odd. It’s bizarre. It’s not quite right. It doesn’t work.
Just when you think things will level out, you pour the beer and, my oh my, it is seriously carbonated. The bubbles froth up like Fairy Liquid (other washing-up detergents are available) on a bad day. Then you let your eyes drift to the colour presenting itself in the glass and you see something that looks like peach juice, which is not what you were hoping for. It’s off the beer colour scales. Not looking like the thirst quencher you were aiming for.
A brief whiff and there’s not much there in the nose. So, quickly to the drinking…
With Google translate, you manage to work out that the bottle promises citrus. This is not what you taste. No no. What you get is sweetness in the first instance followed by a very short bitterness. And it is thin. As thin as the bed sheet you’ve been using on the hot evenings. What a let down!
Is it unpleasant? Not really. But then it’s not good either. In fact, take the whole package and you’re disappointed.
Oh well, time to reach for a Kronenbourg…
Sammy’s Rating: 41%
I’m going to use the actual testing notes that were scribbled in my notebook at the very time of test for the bulk of this review. Normally these notes are garbled nonsense that only I would understand but for once, they actually make a bit of sense and sum up what is going on with Smash (great name) pretty well…
Very weak floral nose
Pours cloudy with a peach colour
Crazy big bubbled head
Very thin and weak taste up front
Bitter lime kick in the middle, pleasant surprise
Long faint aftertaste
Not much going on other than the middle
I think that it is probably fair to say that other than the bitter citrus lime kick that rolls into town once you have swallowed there aren’t too many positive things to say about this beer coming out of the French capital. That said, the lime kick in the middle is actually really nice but is just let down monumentally by everything else.
There is something to work with here for sure but to get this sucker up to good even, will take some head scratching.
Jymi’s Rating: 55%
MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 48%
MOB review next weekend: ROSÉ FOR DAZE by OSKAR BLUES BREWERY