BEER REVIEW: 64

BREWER: Thornbridge, Derbyshire, England

STYLE: Coconut Chocolate Porter

ABV: 5.5%

VESSEL: 330ml brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 29th December 2018

JYMI SAY’S…

Now, I’ve had a fair few Thornbridge brews over the last year or so and I have to say they have always delivered and I’ve not yet been disappointed… taste wise that is.

Packaging wise I’ve been disappointed Every. Single. Time.

The whole labelling concept looks flippin’ terrible. It’s not that it’s unappealing and not eye-catching, it’s just s#*t.

The only saving grace for Coco Cocoa’s look is that the pink label is very striking but with one teeny eye movement you’re back to the tacky, crappy and unnecessarily sparkly gold upper label.

Anyway, let’s get to the beer itself.. As I’ve already mentioned this Derbyshire brewery have yet to let me down. I’m especially looking forward to this as knowing that I’m a coconut super fan (if done correctly) and knowing that Thornbridge have never let me down, I could be in for a real treat.

Bottle cracked and poured, what’s the whiff like?

Average…

And so to the taste…

Now what I really wanted was a well brewed, soft velvet smooth porter with hints of chocolate and coconut.  And I have to say team Thornbridge nailed it!!

The only trouble is…. I didn’t like it.

I really thought the coconut flavour was going to work here as long as it was just a hint… and it was just a hint. But it didn’t work. For me anyway it tasted like a Piz Buin cocktail…and that’s that.

Jymi’s Rating: 50%

SAMMY SAY’S…

Sammy’s Rating: 58%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 54% 

MOB review next weekend: SIR TURNAROUND by UILTJE BREWING CO.

 MUSE ON BOOZE

BEER REVIEW: 63

BREWER: Black Isle Brewing Co., Highlands, Scotland

STYLE: Porter

ABV: 4.6%

VESSEL: 330ml brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 21st December 2018

JYMI SAY’S…

Errrrmmm, Well….

Errrrrrm….

Where do you start with something that is great but isn’t actually great?

Leicester City 2015-16

Philadelphia Eagles 2017-18

Wimbledon FC 1998

Chicago Cubs 2016

Chatauenauf du Pape 2002

I really can’t put my finger on just what is going on with Black Isle Organic Porter I have to say.

The packaging and name probably took a combined 7 seconds to come up with. The nose though not at all unpleasant really isn’t doing much. And the flavour and taste impact barely register on the palate.

BUT,

BIOP is good, in fact it’s verging on great! How, how is this possible? I hear you all cry from your pre Christmas drunken parties / sofas.

Well, let’s start with how smooth this beer is. It’s smooth let me tell you. Like, crazy ridiculous smooth as silk smooth. With this comes lightness with the body too, normally something that you would not necessarily associate with the super dark beers, but it works. Then for all the lack of flavour there are tiny little hints of liquorice and coffee.

On paper this just doesn’t work as a Porter, but in glass and gob it most certainly does.

Somehow… very well done!

Jymi’s Rating: 77%

SAMMY SAY’S…

So…let us step into the world of porter with Black Isle Organic Porter, which comes from the Scottish Highlands and is brewed in small batches. 

I don’t think anyone could claim that this would jump off of the shelf and grab you by your senses and scream buy me.  Black Isle Porter is very understated in it’s appearance.  However, I like the way it’s very clearly linked to it’s Scottish beginnings and there is no doubting that what’s on the inside is a dark ale.

Some stouts have a strong aroma, which vary in their pleasantness.  This porter is actually very light on the nose, and while it’s quite pleasant, it just doesn’t pack a hearty wintery punch.  But that all changes when you take your first sip when you are warmed by the light bitter malts, which are exactly what you want from a porter.  The small batch brewing really does work with Black Isle Porter and it’s balanced incredibly well, with just the right amount of what you want that clears the palate in good time.

And another thing – it’s incredibly smooth, which really works with this porter.  The smoothness supports the balance of flavour and gives a great mouth feel.

We’ve got a great porter on our hands here.  Lovely job.

Sammy’s Rating: 82%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 79.5% 

MOB review next weekend: COCO COCOA by THORNBRIDGE

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL FROM MUSE ON BOOZE xxx

BEER REVIEW: 62

BREWER: Loch Ness Brewery, Highlands, Scotland

STYLE: Stout 

ABV: 4.4%

VESSEL: 500ml brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 16th December 2018

JYMI SAY’S…

Darkness is just the most stunning name for a Stout!! I mean, how very simple and just totally perfect. I’m going to ignore the fact that this is a play on words from the brewery that produced it as frankly I find it quite annoying. No, I’m concentrating on the fact that Darkness is one of the best and most apt names for a beer out there. I’m just hoping that once released from it’s rather underwhelming bottle that it pours a rich black, as when you come with a name tag like this you better hope that you’re darker than a ninja at night.

And it most certainly was… Darkness poured a beautiful deep black colour with a hint of cherry and gave off a lovely lovely rich burnt chocolate and coffee aroma. Taste wise Darkness delivers in a big way. Such a full flavour with a wonderful smooth finish. And for such a full flavour it’s amazing just how drinkable this stout is.

So big ticks for nose, taste and drinkability… However, by the time I had finished this offering from Loch Ness Brewery the rich full flavour had given me my fill and I was only ready for one more really.

All in all this would be a great opener for any wintery occasion but for me anyway I would have to move onto something else pretty quickly.

But it’s a job well done by #LNB.

Jymi’s Rating: 72%

SAMMY SAY’S…

Loch Ness Brewery has a good thing going on with the naming of its beers.  I don’t think this needs explaining, but just in case the Ness bit of the names of all of the beers is in relation to the Ness part of Loch Ness.  This is where the beers come from.  Get it?  Clever isn’t it?  This great play on the name isn’t backed up by the packaging (the less said about that the better) so the overall marketing isn’t quite the full ticket. 

Dark Ness, is quite obviously, a stout from Loch Ness Brewery.  It most definitely looks like a stout (first box ticked) and it definitely smells like a stout (second box ticked).  To be fair, it smells really good for a stout packed full of with lovely chocolatey hints backed up by backdrops of cherry, both of which are most welcome at this time of year. 

In the drinking, there is a chocolate sweetness that is actually very well balanced with the heavier coffee, earthy flavours that we usually associate with stouts.  It’s not a deep flavour and this makes Dark Ness incredibly light for a stout.  It’s easy on the palate and it’s very easy to drink.  The flavour doesn’t have much length, but this leads to this being an incredible session beer (and please do remember that this is a stout!).

In a (Christmas) nutshell, Dark Ness is a contender for an excellent session stout, which has character in abundance.  It’s definitely a big hitter and one that I would recommend for cold winter months. 

 Sammy’s Rating: 81%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 76.5% 

MOB review next weekend: BLACK ISLE ORGANIC PORTER by BLACK ISLE BREWING CO. 

MUSE ON BOOZE

Another Winter warmer for you on this second Sunday in December, though this one is actually cold

INGREDIENTS: 

25ml Hennessy 

25ml Bulleitt Bourbon

15ml Gran Marnier

15ml Lemon Juice

15ml Sugar Syrup

METHOD:

Add all ingredients and shake with Lemon and Clementine Peel. 

Fine strain into chilled glass.

Garnish with Clementine peel.

BEER REVIEW: 61

BREWER: Dawkins, Bristol, England

STYLE: Chilli Chocolate Stout

ABV: 5.1%

VESSEL: 500ml brown bottle 

DATE POSTED: 7th December 2018

SAMMY SAY’S…

Sammy’s Rating: 43%

JYMI SAY’S…

Hi there, my name is Jymi and I eat Habanero Peppers for breakfast.

I’m a spice head, I’ll admit it.

Every time I go to my local greasy spoon the Sicilian owner Franco will shout ”Hey Jymi, you want extra Tabasco yeah”? I’ll raise my hand and smile like the cool kid I am.

Every time I pop to my local Deli for lunch Michael asks me “Jalapenos in your sandwich sir”? I nod. He delivers. It’s a nice relationship that one.

Every time I order a curry from down the road for tea I ask if even the hottest of dishes can be spiced up a bit, but they have still failed to take me down.

Spice, I love it. But do I want a warming Stout on a chilly Friday evening in December to actually be spicy? Quite honestly… no. If I get the flavour of chilli from HM I’ll be happy I’m sure but if it is actually spicy I may throw my glass against the wall in disappointment..

Here goes…

What the actual what??

The initial sip and taste we have here is pleasant enough, though the beer itself is certainly lacking a bit of body. But then…. OH BUT THEN!!!…… HOLY MOLÉ, in comes that chilli and wrecks it all! Look, it’s not blow your head off spicy as such but it is without packing chilli heat at the middle and end of every sip. It’s too much and I know that this is what this Stout is about but just kills anything decent it had going for it.

I didn’t throw my glass against the wall but it did however take me almost an hour to drink and that right there tells you all you need to know.

Holy Molé Batman…

Not for me Robin.

Jymi’s Rating: 50%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 46.5% 

MOB review next weekend: DARKNESS by LOCH NESS BREWERY

MUSE ON BOOZE

A little warming cocktail for you to try on this first cozy December Sunday…..

INGREDIENTS:

750ml Red Wine

600ml Cold Water

150ml Dark Rum

1 Breakfast Teabag

125g Caster Sugar

6 Cinnamon Sticks to serve 

METHOD:

Pour the Wine, Water and Rum into a Slow Cooker. Add the Tea Bag and Sugar and cook on High for 1 hour. 

Stir the Punch and remove the Teabag. Cook on Low for 3 hours. 

Stir and serve with Cinnamon stick. 

BEER REVIEW: 60

BREWER: Fuller’s, West London, England

STYLE: Bitter  

ABV: 4.7%

VESSEL: 500ml brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 1st December 2018

JYMI SAY’S…

“Pint of Pride please landlord”

“Evening Stan, I’ll grab a Pride when you’re ready”

“Three London Pride’s and eleven packets of pork scratchings please”

“Afternoon…..errrrrrr, yes, I’ll have a pint of London Pride. Thank you”

“Mornin’, usual ta”

Just a snippet of the words muttered by folk when it comes to this absolute stalwart of an ale. London Pride is at the absolute forefront when it comes to go to beers in a boozer in the UK. It will never let you down. But the genius behind Pride, for me anyway, is this…

There are far better beers out there for sure but if nothing peaks your interest and you’re not in an adventurous mood a London Pride will be ordered with confidence. It’s a go to beer, a safety blanket.

Now the trouble is when we arrive at #LP in a bottle it suddenly has way more dudes to contend with. At a boozer you can pretty quickly asses your options and hit up your choice. But at the majority of places Pride in a bottle will be sold there will be a plethora of alternate options…. and that’s why until today I have never had a London Pride from a bottle.

It’s fine. It’s not quite as good as from cask obviously, but it’s fine.

Pub wise. forever an absolute go to in my book, but if something else does catch your eye, well who could blame you.

When it comes to the premise of consumption from a bottle it may not even make it in the beer basket, but when it comes to a beer you can always just always rely on….LONDON PRIDE IS QUITE SIMPLY.. THE ONE

Jymi’s Rating: 71%

SAMMY SAY’S…

London Pride does not refer to a group of lions based in London but rather to a beer that is aimed at being the top most offering from our fair capital city.  And you’d be hard pushed to come from London (or indeed much further afield) and not know about this staple of the ale world, which is Fuller’s flagship beer.

You know where you stand with Pride, and its somewhere right in the heart of London, just as intended.  This beer truly does represent where it’s from with grandeur.  It’s proud to be from London and Londoners should be proud to have it as their representative.

It has a distinctive taste, which while not groundbreaking, is so very comforting.  It really is a strong representative of an English bitter that is fairly light on the palette with light malty hopiness supported by the almost perfect length of bitter after bite.  The nose is isn’t anything to get excited about – but let’s be fair, it is a bitter!

The success of London Pride lies in its unwavering consistency.  One bottle after another, it always delivers.  It is refreshingly old school.  It doesn’t dress up in anything other than what it truly is.

Fuller’s know what they’re doing and they know that with this brand they have a hit on their hands.

Sammy’s Rating: 78%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 74.5% 

MOB review next weekend: HOLY MOLÉ by DAWKINS 

MUSE ON BOOZE

BEER REVIEW: 59

BREWER: Brakspear, Oxfordshire, England

STYLE: Golden Ale

ABV: 4.6%

VESSEL: 500ml brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 24th November 2018

SAMMY SAY’S…

With Oxford Gold, you know what to expect before you even enter in the realms of the inner bottle.  The outer bottle screams of good old British beer tradition.  Brakspear, as a brewer, has heritage.  Everything suggests that what we have on our hands here is a hairs on the chest, beard growing English ale.  

Note to all – this is best handled in a glass with a handle.  

Oxford Gold has the colour you’d expect from an English bitter.  And as you raise the aforementioned jug to your lips, you very soon realise that the aroma is everything you’d expect from a bitter. It’s malty and very pleasantly earthy and that’s incredibly reassuring.

In the drinking, Oxford Gold is most definitely a bitter.  It has the comfort and warmth of malt, which is balanced very skilfully on the palate.  But it does pack some surprises alongside that with its zest and lightness. Overall, this is a master-class in balanced brewing.

Oxford Gold lives up to its name; it’s a great English bitter. It would be a warm welcome at home or out and about on either an autumnal or a winter’s day.  It fights the corner for bitters with aplomb and it stands tall in the world of beer.  

Get ready to whet your whistle because if you do it with Oxford Gold, you’ll be very pleased that you did.

Sammy’s Rating: 81%

JYMI SAY’S…

The Brakspear Brewery in Henley on Thames has been part of my life for a long, long time. The fact it’s not there anymore (even though the signs are, as well as the memories (cue floods of nostalgic tears)) I’m just going to ignore. I know this is unprofessional and factually untrue but as far as I’m concerned the brewery lives on and that’s just the way it is.

I mean, Sammy went out with a girl who lived in Henley when we kids so we spent a stack of time in the town. Once we had finished school we took up residence at Henley College. Once the College bit was over I knew I was going to be a professional beer blogger so didn’t bother with Uni and got a job in Oxford, so drove through Henley everyday smelling that yeast fermenting morning and night. After a bit of a break from this quintessentially English Thames town, until recently, I ended up starting most of my working days there too, driving past the brewery on every single one of them. It’s fair to say Brakes is in my heart and when I stare at this Oxford Gold in front of me I trust it to deliver. I mean, it looks great and for me, reliable. I have only ever had OG from cask so was very intrigued to see if it delivered via a bottle too. I’m just praying it does, don’t go braking my heart…  

Wow!! What an absolute winner!!

Ok, Ok, Ok… trying not to sound too pretentious, this is a journey of a beer tasting experience. It really is. And the journey is a stonker!

OG starts off super smooth in ones mouth with sumptuous bursts of citrus accompanied by an elegant floral back drop. As Oxford Gold goes down ones pipe it leaves behind a sensational almost honey like coating on the inner cheek of the drinker. Most divine. As the aforementioned drinker is sitting rejoicing the honey coating, a gentle bitter after taste creeps in and finishes off the whole drinking experience perfectly.

Then it’s time for another sip!!! And then another…

Honestly Oxford Gold is a brilliant beer and will quickly become a resident in Jymi’s beer fridge.

Jymi’s Rating: 85%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 83% 

MOB review next weekend: LONDON PRIDE by FULLERS

MUSE ON BOOZE 

BEER REVIEW: 58

BREWER: Brouwerij Kompaan, South Holland, Netherlands

STYLE: Double IPA

ABV: 8.2%

VESSEL: 33cl brown bottle

DATE POSTED: 17th November 2018

SAMMY SAY’S…

Hand Langer is a lively one.  She fizzes up very quickly once she’s let loose from the bottle.  And behind all the fizz, there’s a very nice citrus fruit aroma, which is ably supported by a faint backdrop of caramel.  

In the drinking, it’s the burnt caramel that wins out.  While Hand Langer is not altogether unpleasant, there is something a little forced about it.  It doesn’t quite align its flavours.  As I drink it, I’m not sure that it knows where it belongs.  The lack of clarity leads to it languishing in, dare I say it, being incredibly unmemorable.  

Hand Langer is a beer that I will easily forget.  Funnily enough, I don’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad beer, because it’s not. I just mean that there are so many other beers out there that out strip it.  It doesn’t have a USP.  It will drift into the background.

A little like a day at work, I can say with a degree of certainty that I will very quickly forget Hand Langer.  It will fade into nothingness and I cannot guarantee that come the future I will ever remember having had it.  Oh well.

Sammy’s Rating: 63%

JYMI SAY’S…

Beware the HANDLANGER!!! And there are a of couple reasons for this… One comes from the Kompaan Brewery themselves and one from your personal beer adviser, Jymi.

Firstly the advice from Kompaan: WATCH YOUR BACK.. They call him bitter and merciless – we call him the HANDLANGER! 

So I get scared way easier than the usual person I have to admit. I honestly look at the bottom left corner of the TV sometimes if a jumpy moment looks likely to happen in Emmerdale.

The Kompaan description  of this beer  seems creepy to me, like the Handlanger may seek then find you at any moment. I’m sure this was not the brewery’s intention but either way, it scared me.

Now the advice from yours truly: OK, crazy creepy aside the first thing to note about this brew is it does not taste like it is 8.2%. Not even close. Unless you drank a certain amount of these you would have no idea you were drinking an 8.2% monster. Bizarrely it almost tastes weak!! DANGER DANGER…. HIGH VOLTAGE!

Kompaan’s Handlanger pours a beautiful colour with an almost soapy, lively head. There are notes of caramel throughout with the odd hint of banana. But is it the monster of a beer that it should be?

Quite simply, No

… this isn’t a monster of a beer. Far from it. I mean it’s nice enough but with the name HANDLANGER, a big ol’ ABV and the label of Double IPA I just wanted a bit more if I’m honest.

Jymi’s Rating: 73%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 68% 

MOB review next weekend: OXFORD GOLD by BRAKSPEAR 

MUSE ON BOOZE

BEER REVIIEW: 57

BREWER: The Three Legs Brewing Company, East Sussex, England

STYLE: IPA 

ABV: 5.5%

VESSEL: 500ml brown bottle 

DATE POSTED: 10th November 2018

SAMMY SAY’S…

Some products deliver on the exact level that you’d expect them to deliver on.  A beer branded as English IPA should be unwaveringly bold in both its Englishness and it’s IPAness.  It should be all things expected from an English IPA.  I want to have clarity around this from the outset…on some levels English IPA does deliver…

Let us begin with the Englishness.  Firstly, on the nose you get a heavy foresty odor; a little like a walk through an English woodland on a wet autumnal day.  And that’s very English.  Secondly, the taste is like burnt compost with the aftertaste of tea that has been left to brew for ten minutes too long.   English people like to garden and build compost heaps and they like to follow this activity with a nice brew of good old Rosie.  So once again, English IPA gets a big tick for its Englishness.

So English IPA is definitely English.

Now let’s consider the IPAness.  I’m afraid it’s bad news.   The English woodland nose doesn’t make for a very pleasant olfactory experience.  And as for drinking one’s garden experience in a beer…well I think you can probably guess it’s not particularly pleasant. 

So English IPA is definitely not IPAish.

Given that the IPAness should heavily outweigh the Englishness, and that’s very obviously not the case, this beer is, rather sadly, a very big fail.  I’ll stick to my real compost heap and over brewed tea thank you very much.

Sammy’s Rating: 45%

JYMI SAY’S…

So there I was, sat sitting, a progressive beer swilling 9 year old listening to my history teacher go on and on about something in the past….. things are very different now but back when I was younger I just did not see the point in learning about stuff that had been and gone (great attitude I know). I was all up for looking forward and pressing on. Now Mr D, the aforementioned history teacher, could always sense my disinterest of the subject so used to hit me up with random questions to make sure I was awake. I distinctly remember one day a certain question came my way…. James, how long did the Hundred Years War last for? I sniggered (great attitude I know). I thought, who is this guy? What kind of ridiculous question is that? So I answered with aplomb, 100 years sir. The rest of the class sniggered.

So I approach the next part of this review with caution as clearly history didn’t work out too well for me whilst at school…

The Three Legs Brewing Company is based in Brede in East Sussex which is close to Battle which is close to Hastings (geography did work out at school). So I am concluding that we have Norman Longboats on the packaging of English IPA. Though this could be wildly inaccurate!! Huge apologies to everyone involved if this is the case.

I like this packaging… It’s very different without going down the vogue route of cartoon and wacky. I’m not sure it would stand out in a crowd as over all is quite dull in colour but that almost makes me like the look of this bottle more. Understated, subtle and classy.

As for the beer, one thing immediately struck me as I took down that first big gulp…. This IPA is one dimensional. What I mean by this is there is no real journey of taste. With most beers you get an upfront leading flavour accompanied by the nose followed by the taste after you have swallowed and then a finish. With English IPA there were no stages, just straight up beer. Kind of a, here you go, it is what it is vibe. Now I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing as the beer was pleasant enough without being great. It was almost refreshing to have a straight up non complex what you see is what you get ale coming my way for once.

English IPA, from packaging to taste, it’s not singing and it’s not dancing and that is not always a bad thing in this wonderfully wild world we live in.

Jymi’s Rating: 60%

MUSE ON BOOZE RATING: 52.5% 

MOB review next weekend: KOMPAAN HANDLANGER by BROUWERIJ KOMPAAN

MUSE ON BOOZE